I Need a Job that Will Help me Attain a Better Height

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I Need a Job that Will Help me go for my Masters and Attain a Better Height

This marriage is hell. I am tired. During our courtship, my husband told me he would sponsor me through masters and Phd then get me a lecturing job . I immediately suggested he opens a shop for me too so as to be getting small money from it and he accepted. Then a month,to our traditional marriage, he told me he applied for a post Doc in One university out of the country and he was offered the postDoc and would be leaving on January 7th.


I welcomed this news with a mixed feeling because it will totally disorganize our plan. I met a man who wanted to help me with a job in Nigerian Navy, I got their forms but when he heard about it, he discouraged me. Telling me that uniform (Force) works ain't good for ladies. That I should drop it and think of going for my masters which I felt was not a bad idea. I didn't pursue the navy stuff again.

Now after our marriage, January came, time started ticking, his school went on strike. He became worried. I asked him why he's worried that his school where he lectures went on strike, I thought they have relieved you of your job for one year due to this post Doc stuff which doesn't even affect your salary. He said it was because he has a letter the abroad school would send to his school before he can start processing his documents . The strike lingered for 3 months. I was being blamed for the strike, I was blamed for not taking in. He kept on threatening me that he would marry a second wife to have plenty babies and I was taking it.

I was being practically blamed for whatever misfortune that comes his way. He doesn't accept his wrongs and would always make me plead too much for every problem we had. But I know why it is like that, he felt my world revolves round him. His parents are late, nobody both in nuclear and extended family can stand to talk to him. In fact he is a mini god. My parents are not even helping matters as they stomach a lot of nonsense which made me believe they lack integrity. My sister suffered abuse in her marriage, and was at the verge of death until I stood up for her. I used my savings as a youth corper to rent a house in Lagos then brought she and her baby out as the man abandoned them in my father's house in the village and based abroad. Her stay in my parents house was also not comfortable as they rain her with insults at every slightest mistake. They are my parents , and easily lay curses on us when we were growing up.

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My hubby was a perfect gentleman when we were dating, in fact I took him as an answered prayers. I was as transparent as a wife should be. But the reason I lost my cool and talked to him harshly that made him order me out of his house was because, I have suffered 3 serious provocations from him within one week which I would list here.

The first one : I posted a picture on Facebook a week before my hubby traveled. I got a lot of comments from both male and female. In a bid to reply all, I address the ladies with sweet names and the men,I simply say thank you" one man commented on my picture "Chiomam, lipsly gorgeous" I didn't read meaning to that so I only said thank you. Now after that week, my hubby traveled to Abuja and we were just chatting on whatsapp and laughing.


He immediately said, I saw where one man called you his own and you thanked him. I've even forgotten, so I asked him where? He said Facebook ,your last picture. I told him let me check and yes I saw it but deleted the thank you and tagged the man then told him not to address me as such that it's not proper.

I called hubby to inform him I've corrected the man but he ignored my calls. I sent him messages on whatsapp he read and ignored me. This happened on Saturday night. Sunday I called from 9am to 3pm , plus whatsapp messages but was totally ignored. Around 6pm again that same Sunday,I called he said he's going out after not picking for 4 times. 10pm I called again he picked. And told me his colleagues saw that comment and were talking about it. That one of them summoned courage to draw his attention to it. And that he has also messaged the man to tell him what's going on between us. That I have the gut to even go and talked to the man politely instead of insulting the hell outta him. I told him my Facebook has privacy settings that if you ain't my friend,you will never know what's going on in my timeline and I have no mutual friend with you .so I wonder where and how your friends got to see that post. He said I'm calling him a liar . He also said I tagged the picture on his wall which is never true. Even in his birthday he warned me never to post anything about it so I respected myself. I don't tag stuffs on his wall. I tried to make him understand but he said he was gonna screen grab it and send to me so I can see that I tagged it on his wall and he also said that I still have the gut to leave the silly comment on that post. I told him , he should have asked me to delete it and I will. I said now that you said it I'm deleting it.

I deleted the comment then got back to ask him if he has screen grabbed the picture as he said that I tagged it on his wall. He said I've rushed and deleted both the picture and comment. I called him, he said he warned me to open a new Facebook account once we get married but I ended up not doing so. I pulled down my Facebook account and opened a new one. I still called him to tell him the account has been pulled down but he started questioning me on how I feel about it. I told him I don't feel bad because I'm doing nothing bad or too serious with it. He got angry asking if I must win every argument? That I should go and learn how to be a good wife. I did not say anything. I was the one doing the calling for 2 days before he started calling me normal again.

Second problem was when his colleague left for abroad. Both of them were supposed to leave together if not that he insisted he must attend the social gathering in the neighboring country where him and his friend were invited to come deliver a speech but the Embassy delayed his visa to the other country. So the friend left before him because he wasn't attending the social gathering. He blamed me again. Counting all his losses, lamenting that his life was never like this. I was consoling and begging him to calm down. And he eventually did calmed down.

Then on Friday at the embassy after I've stayed all night praying for him . He told me that dream and how if he needs a woman , he can get and I would do nothing. That was why I spoke to him harshly. He said I should leave his house and called my parents who went on pleading to him . He said I must leave and that if he comes back, we decide if the marriage will continue or not. He even sent me 30,000 Naira to book my flight and drop his keys with his neighbor.

But unfortunately all flights to Lagos have been fully booked. Even Monday. I told him yesterday about it, the only seat on Monday flight is 53 thousand something. Tuesday is 37,300. He said that's my business that if he meets me in his house then the marriage is over. His aunties are worried and also begging me to go so that they can plead on my behalf easily for him to bring me back without saying I disobeyed his orders. So today, one of his auntie told me he said he sent 20,000 Naira for me to add up and make sure I leave . I told him I already have 28,000 Naira remaining in my hand because I cleared our NEPA bill from it. 28 plus 20 is 48. I went to the airport to book my ticket, Tuesday now is 47,400. But Wednesday is 29,300. I booked for Wednesday. Now I heard he's landing in Tuesday and I've decided to look for where to stay till Wednesday. I don't have friends here. He doesn't allow me associate with people except the market girls I'm learning how to make hair from. But I have another elderly woman who can accommodate me .

I've taken time to reason about my life . I sincerely would not want to continue in this marriage. Coming out is not a problem but coming out empty handed and without hope. Please beg your followers for me. If anyone can help me with a job, I will be revived back to the happy lady I used to be. I need a job that will help me go for my masters and attain a better height. I am in this marriage and getting all these treatments because my hubby has seen obviously that my life is revolving round him. I need to stand up for myself. If I go back to stay with my only sister, the burden would be too much for her because she's a sales girl and also taking care of her baby alone. I am a graduate of pure and industrial chemistry. Please, let God touch someone to give me my self esteem back. I am depressed.

Marriage of 8 months. Hubby is 34 and I'm 29.