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How to Win My Husbands Heart
Good day everyone. I need help, can't bear the burden anymore. I feel terrible on the inside. I feel God too will never forgive me. I feel I am not fit to be called my husbands wife. It took a stranger to beat and bring me back to reality. I feel my sins can never be forgiven. Please I need help and prayers for God not to forsake me. My story is a long story but I will make it small for reading. My husband is not on any social network that is why I am free writing to you for help.
I got married December 2002 and my husband was working in one company back then, after 6 years, he lost the job. He lost the job and tried getting another one but nobody helped him. Before that, he opened a wine shop for me with his savings and truly, I am good in business. He begged and asked me, let's team up and do the wine business but I felt he is coming in to know what comes in and goes. So I refused.
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He started sitting at home and truly I don't know what possessed me. I started seeing him as a failure and an infidel. I give him food, sometimes I don't care if he has fed. If he begs me for money, I will ridicule him before I give them to him. He do help out even in cooking but my main concern was for him to bring money to the table. I stopped my in-laws from entering their brothers house because he has lost his voice . He later got a job at the east, I threatened him that if he accepts to leave me and the children for just 24 hours, that the marriage will be over. He stayed back. I don't even want to write somethings because some people will curse me.
Last four years, my husband got a job, that was what he told me. By then his clothes are worn out. He told me but I never gave him any money. I started seeing some new clothes on his body after months he started the job, so when I asked him, he said his younger brother sent him some of his clothes from east.
His brother too was still managing . I never cared to know where my husband works or how he goes to the place of work or how he comes home. All I want to hear from him is money for upkeep. Truth be told, we have not had s!ex for the past 6 and half years, I had an affair outside too but I stopped.
My husband doesn't even come to me because I have so abused him and I don't even care . My husband started bringing money home but I never knew his work place.
He told me his pay was 40k and he will take the job because he can't find another one either. He is happy he now contributes to the feeding but at night he sleeps inside his children's room and before I could wake up in the morning, he has bath his children and left for work. I saw he didn't even care about me in the house and even if I tell him let's sit down for a talk, he will sit down and won't say a word. Immediately I finished what I wants to say, he will get up and leave.
I too was feeling he will ease off with time, but that never happened so I didn't even care. We have 4 kids( twins girls and 2 boys). It just took me last three months to understand the kind of job my husband is into.
He left for work and forgot his phone where he was charging it at the kitchen switch. I was at the kitchen with my helper preparing the food the children will take to school when his phone rang and rang. I shouted, why did he forget his phone? So when it started ringing again, I pressed the receiver and what I heard was oga dry cleaner good morning, I hope you are coming this morning to iron those clothes because my husband have no clothes to wear tomorrow? I switched the phone off because I felt is a wrong number.
The caller called back, I shouted wrong number madam. She said what is wrong number, is this not oga dry cleaners phone? I said it's wrong number. The woman started abusing me, so you stole his phone? Better go and return that phone to that poor man before she swears for me, she said a lot of hurtful words to me. That if I don't return that phone to that man, God will turn his problems to mine.
I switched off the phone to go back to my cooking thinking that it was a wrong number. My husband came back after 20 minutes , took his phone and left. I did not ask him of anything because he was in a haste.
When he got back in the evening was when I told him about the call and he said yes that it was not a wrong number, that it was his customer that called, that he is doing house to house dry cleaning and ironing for people, that it's the job he has been into for four years now and that is where he is feeding and paying the children school fees from. He didn't say another word and left. I later asked him of their office, he said no office that he goes to people's houses, takes their clothes and go to his friends house wash them and iron them and bag it in a nylon. That they don't have any office yet but they both saved and bought a big generator for ironing. That a friend of his introduced him to the business, that they do it together, they wash today and iron tomorrow depending on the weather.
I have failed as a wife and I feel I should leave his life because I have caused him so much pain. I don't know how to start making amends. Even with everything I did to him, he never forgets my birthday date and he will send me a message . I want to get his heart back but i don't know where to start. I can rent a shop for him to start fully his business but I don't know if he will accept that. I feel he is just there because of his children and not me anymore. Please what can I do because even with all I did to him. He still never left me, never abused me , he comes home to me and the children, still take part in house chores . Even when visitors come and he is around, hardly can you see his angry. I need help, where can I start to make amends please. Your friends should please tell me where to start ?
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